


A Second Chance

by YunsMoonie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bad Ending, Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, no beta we die like everyone in aot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27646517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunsMoonie/pseuds/YunsMoonie
Summary: What if you were to die in this moment? Would you try and cling to life?What if you're heard and granted a second chance?But does one can really trick death?Or does death trick you for his own amusement?
Relationships: Erwin Smith/Reader
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

Keys jingle as I look for the right one to open my door. Finally found the key; I turned it around in the lock. The old door opens creaking slightly and reveals my apartment to me.   
  
  
  
Whenever friends or colleagues come to visit for the first time, they are surprised that someone who is otherwise as messy as I am has such a clean and tidy apartment. But how can I pollute an apartment that I don't use? Apart from sleeping, eating...and thinking, I do nothing here.   
  
  
  
Every day I follow my same monotonous routine. I get up, get ready, go to work and come home late in the evening. And even then I stay true to my routine, eat something and spend the rest of the day thinking. Pretty boring, but I don't have time to have fun.   
  
  
  
When my parents were still alive, they always tried to cheer me up and motivate me to try something new, but what for? I never found an answer to why everyone keeps telling me to have fun and risk things. Enjoy life to the full, but why? It doesn't change the result, in the end we all end up in the same place, no matter how we lived, we all arrive at death sometime and then...who knows what happens then, maybe life only starts then. Maybe what we all see as 'life' is just the prologue of our story. Only the length of the prologue is different for everyone, and I don't want to waste my time.   
  
  
  
I put my bag down and lock the door behind me, although I live in a small town, where hardly any crimes happen, but you can never be careful enough... Just talk your way out (y/n)...  
  
Arriving in the bathroom, I look out of the window into the street. Some people can be seen on the street, on their way home or anywhere else. The street lamps illuminate the neighborhood with sparse light. The barking of dogs, laughter and voices talking are everyday things that can be heard here. All this does not interest me, and I turn away from the window and take a quick shower. There is not enough time for more.   
  
  
  
The rest of the evening also goes on as usual, a quiet dinner and now I lie exhausted from the day in my bed. As always, my thoughts wander around this time of day.   
  
  
  
Is my current attitude to life really right? I can't change it now anyway...It's too late.   
  
  
  
Time skip to the next morning  
  
  
  
Still drunk asleep I reach for my mobile phone to look for the time.   
  
  
  
8:15 am  
  
  
  
Groaning, I let myself fall back into my bed. I don't want to get up, my alarm clock hasn't rung yet anyway. Wait! Suddenly I realized that I forgot to set my alarm yesterday. I sat up on my bed and grabbed my mobile phone again. 8:15 am, sh*t! I should have been at work 15 minutes ago.   
  
  
  
Hurriedly I get dressed, reach for my bag and keys. I jump down the stairs in the hallway more than I walk down them normally. I run across the street and dodge some passers-by, others I overrun. No time to worry about it much, I get up again, run away and shout a quick apology. I ignore people's cursing as much as I can.  
  
  
  
The cafe where I work is already visible on the opposite side of the street. Only across the street...   
  
  
  
A short look to both sides and I start running. No time. The squeaking of tires frightens me and lets me see to my right side. My eyes widen.   
  
  
  
Everything around me happens now in slow motion. Even the smallest detail strikes me, the first time I really watch my surroundings closely. I hear people screaming as they pass by. My eyes wander from one point to the other, from the passers-by who partly turn away from the action, to the birds that fly out of the trees because of the noises and finally back to the probably most important event, the car that drives straight towards me. Through the windshield of the car, I can see a desperate looking driver trying to gesticulate with one hand that I should get out of the way.  
  
  
  
Like there's time for that now... No time.   
  
  
  
..Hah...haha...Time, my life was always about time. Maybe I should have used it differently. Not so strictly according to plan but simply free...   
  
  
  
This morning was the first time in years that I didn't act according to my routine and although it was actually a bad morning with oversleeping, no breakfast, running to work and knocking down a few people and making them angry, I had fun. It was kind of exciting and I didn't waste a second thinking about the consequences.   
  
  
  
Maybe I should have done it more often, no always, just live free without a plan. At least I understood it now.  
  
  
  
I look around one last time, then close my eyes, smile and wait for the impact.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Black, that's all I see.   
  
  
  
I do not feel my body. It is as if it were no longer there.   
  
  
  
"Hello," I ask into the darkness.   
  
  
  
No answer.   
  
  
  
Is that death? Silence and blackness?   
  
  
  
"Do not be afraid. You are not dead. In the last moments before you lost consciousness, you decided for life," says a voice.   
  
  
  
"Did I?" I ask again.   
  
  
  
A soft giggle sounds then it becomes very quiet again. Slowly I notice how I get tired and finally I fall asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
I hear a whisper and concentrate on reaching full consciousness. The voices around me become louder and clearer. I pick up single words, but they don't make any sense to me.   
  
  
  
Wall.   
  
  
  
Headquarters.   
  
  
  
Injured.   
  
  
  
With all my strength I try to make myself noticeable, to give a sign that I can hear them. But the only thing I succeed in doing at this moment is to open my eyes for a short moment. Blurred figures stand around me. They don't seem to notice my short awakening. Before I can start another attempt, I fall into endless blackness again.


	2. Chapter 2

The light of the rising sun and the chirping of songbirds gently wakes me from my sleep. Somewhat irritated by my waking up too early, I try to turn in bed and sleep on. But as I try, I feel a terrible pain in my side.

Breathing heavily I open my eyes. First I blink a little, then my vision becomes clearer. Confused, I look around. 

"This is definitely not my apartment...", I whisper as I continue to try to orient myself.

" Tch, you now want a reward for having noticed the obvious, brat?", a voice next to me makes his presence noticeable.

I flinch, slightly frightened to hear a voice. Normally I have no contact with people so early in the morning and certainly not in my bedroom. But that is not my apartment either... What the hell happened?

Slowly I turn my head to the source of the voice. Right next to my bed, a dark-haired man sits on a chair, piercing me with his annoyed gaze.

"Where...where exactly am I here?" I ask carefully. Actually, I should first ask who he is, but he doesn't look like he's in the mood to be questioned. So I will only consider the most important questions.

"In the headquarters of the Scouting Corps," is his brief answer. Scouting Corps? That doesn't seem a bit familiar to me. How should I react now?! Fuck think (y/n)! 

Apparently noticing my distressed look, the dark-haired man starts again: "Wall Rose. We found you hurt outside the walls and took you back with us."

"Wall Rose...?", I inquire, "what kind of wall?" Astonished, my opposite looks at me, but quickly catches himself again and puts on his apparently  _ 'normal' _ annoyed look.

"Tch, are you kidding me, brat?! Did a titan kick your head in or have you always been so stupid," he snarls at me. 

"Aah! I'm not stupid!", I snap back, "and what the hell is a titan?" Angrily I gleam at him, enraged that he treats me that way. The man jumps up from his sitting position and bends down furiously towards me. I am already preparing for the worst inside, when suddenly the door is slammed open.

"Hah! I knew I had heard voices. So how are you? How strong are the pains?... And what the hell are you doing Levi? Stop harassing patients," a very excited voice chimes. A quite tall woman stands at the other end of the room. Her brown hair is tied to a ponytail and she wears somewhat unusual glasses. 

"Tch, I haven't done anything yet," the man, apparently called Levi, begins, but is interrupted by the brown-haired one. "Not yet? So you had something planned! You can't be left alone..."

"Don't treat me like one of those brats four eyes," growls the dark-haired man, visibly angry, but is ignored by the woman, instead she turns to me: "Well?"

"So...what?", I ask carefully. At first glance she seems friendly, but who knows, after all, I don't know her.

"How are you," asks the woman with a broad grin on her face as she approaches me. I watch her suspiciously as she walks around the bed I'm lying in and sits down on the chair that Levi just used. She looks at me expectantly. Levi, who in the meantime has straightened up again and is now standing a bit away from the bed, stares at me again.

"I don't know. I was in pain when I woke up earlier", I start carefully but am quickly interrupted by the woman jumping up. "Where?" is the only thing the brown-haired woman asks. But she doesn't wait for my answer, but decides to test it by pressing and surprisingly gently palpating it. When she touches the spot that hurts, I draw in the air sharply. With a skilful hand movement she pulls up my top. In the corner of my eye I see Levi going somewhere and I hear the opening of a door. Shortly after he comes back with an ointment and a bandage in his hand. He puts the stuff on the chair and leaves the room. The strange thing is that he neither made a provocative comment nor gave me an annoyed look. He just looked serious.

From the thought of why Levi looked so serious, my gaze now wanders back to the woman in front of me who has put a worried look on her, but when she feels my gaze on her, she looks at me and tries to hide her concern behind a smile.

"What?" I ask impatiently and try to catch a glimpse of my side. However, my view is quickly covered by the woman who bends over me.  _ She is so close! Has she never heard of privacy?! _

"Please don't be scared, okay? It certainly looks worse than it actually is," she whispers and slowly straightens up again. "Certainly? That means you' re not sure," I ask in a slight panic. The woman nods only slightly to confirm. Her initial energetic appearance now seems as if it had never existed. Nervously, I let my gaze wander down to my side. My breath stops when I see the many bruises on my waist. 

"When we found you they weren't visible yet..." whispers the brown-haired one quietly and begins to apply the ointment that Levi brought earlier. The smell of the ointment bites in the nose and burns on the skin. The areas that have already been creamed with the ointment feel hot and tingle strangely.

"I am Hanji by the way", says the brown-haired woman, Hanji, probably to distract me from the feeling on my side.

After a short moment of thinking whether I can trust her with my name, I answer her, convinced that only with the knowledge of my name she can do nothing bad: "(y/n)."

Hanji is just making the effort to reply when the door is opened and lets her pause. Hastily she straightens up, salutes and then smiles lightly.

Curious, but also careful, I turn my head to the open door.


	3. Chapter 3

Two men enter the room. In the back Levi has put his 'normal' gaze back on him and quietly closes the door behind him. In the front a tall man of quite muscular stature walks towards us with blond, short hair and bright blue eyes. Such an attractive man, only his eyebrows are a bit irritating...

"Hello, I'm Commander Erwin Smith and you are?" the man straight asks. 

"My name is-," I'm about to answer, but I'm interrupted in the middle of my sentence.

"That's (y/n)," Hanji answers instead of me. She smiles at me briefly and then turns back to the commander. "Levi probably already told you, but it's about some bruises on her side. Yesterday there weren't any recognizable."

"How can that be, bruises don't just show up like that," Erwin replies seriously, while he lets his gaze wander over my figure lying in bed. When no one gives him an answer, he sighs softly and then approaches me closer. He sits down on the edge of the bed next to me and looks at my top and then at me asking, "May I?"

Everything inside me screams 'No!', but I know he won't try anything with Hanji and Levi in the room, and he was gentleman enough to ask permission beforehand. I nod at him softly. His cold hands pull my top slightly upwards and I flinch at his touch. He smiles apologetically at me. 

After a few very unpleasant minutes of silence, staring at my bruises and exchanging worried looks, Erwin straightens up and pulls my top down again. "This is very unusual...", the blonde breaks the silence.

"Maybe it will help if we know the cause of the injuries," Levi interjects, who has meanwhile leaned against the wall next to the bed and is now looking over at us. "At least that would be a good start," Erwin replies and looks at me expectantly.

I hadn't even noticed it yet, but my memories were like blown away, all of them. The only thing I remember is my name.

(y/n).

There's nothing else but blackness. Endlessly deep blackness devouring everything. Desperately I search for a clue in my thoughts. No matter what, just a small thing. Something I can remember that tells me who I am and what happened. But there is nothing.

"(y/n)", a voice brings me back into the present. All three look at me with mixed feelings, on the one hand I see concern, but also disappointment and hopelessness seems to be spreading. Erwin smiles at me, it is not an honest smile. It seems forced. 

"Can you remember anything?", Hanji now asks with a smile. 

"Tch. Apparently not, otherwise she would have said something," Levi grumbles, looking at the window. The sun had risen a little further in the meantime. The red of dawn gradually fades and mixes with a clear blue. There are only a few clouds in the sky.

"No," I say, "I'm sorry, but I don't know anything at all." The looks that Hanji and Erwin give me are almost worse than the fact that I have amnesia. Both look at me pitifully, as if they wanted to say at any moment: "Don't worry. It's not your fault. It'll be alright", but both doubt whether things will really get better again, because they don't know why the bruises appeared and so they just give me those looks. But sometimes a look says more than a thousand words.

After a few more minutes in silence Levi asks: "And now?" Confused, I look at him, how should I know? Hanji also seems to be helpless, only Erwin's facial expression cannot be deciphered. His blue eyes wander from Levi to me.

"It's all up to her...(y/n), we don't know why you were alone outside the walls, but we can't rule out that you may not have been banished or persecuted by the government. However, I cannot and will not send you away injured, so I offer you protection here at the headquarters for the time of your recovery," Erwin describes his view. In the background I hear a quiet 'Tch', probably coming from Levi.

Despite the offer, I still have my doubts, something inside me knows that I can't lose time, that I can't concentrate on the important things and can't sit around waiting for my recovery.

"What is when I...don't get well anymore?", I say one of my many doubts, "I can't possibly spend the rest of my life here."

"You can," I'm hastily interrupted by Erwin, "Ahem. I mean if it should be necessary, you could stay here for a few years. The military police are here as good as never and if then not unannounced, so I would...we would have time to hide you."

Surprised, I look at Erwin. He said 'I' before he corrected himself to 'we', I certainly didn't imagine that. I lean my head slightly to the side to see the faces of the other two. Hanji has a strange grin on her lips that sends a shiver down my spine. She seems to have regained her energetic posture, a ... good sign? Levi, on the other hand, seems stunned, his eyes wide open and his mouth slightly open. However, he catches himself very quickly again and stands there leaning against the wall as if nothing had happened.

"Erwin, are you sure this is a good idea. We don't know anything about

her," Levi tries to argue, but Erwin's hand movement makes him quiet. "I'm sure," Erwin replies with a firm, clear voice.

I'm still having doubts, but I don't know what else to do. "All right. But only until I am healthy enough again", I express my opinion, but I regret my decision immediately, because a queasy feeling comes over me.

"Good", Erwin answers relieved and smiles at me. Levi pushes himself off the wall and stands in front of me with his arms crossed: "Since we can't trust you, you can't have your own room. We can't put you with the other cadets either, they would make you a useless and lazy piece of sh*t within a day. So there is only one possibility-"

"She sleeps in my room!"


	4. Chapter 4

"She's sleeping in my room!" Hanji and Erwin shout at the same time.

An unpleasant silence spreads through the room as Erwin, Hanji and Levi exchange confused (and annoyed) glances as I try to avoid the whole thing. Suddenly the wooden planks are extremely interesting. All these small grains and colour transitions in the wood. If I'm right, it would even have to be two different types of wood on the floor.

"Excuse me?," asks a slightly angry voice that must belong to Hanji, unless Erwin's voice raises an octave, when he's angry, then it could be Erwin.

"I'm the commander, if anyone's watching her, it's me, and you really want her to stay with you?" Erwin replies in a similar tone to Hanji before.

"Oh okay  _ Mr. Commander _ ! So you'd rather let her sleep in your room, but you know she's a woman? Or wait, maybe our commander has a secret. Is he in the end not a man at all?", Hanji screams. Through her shadow on the floor I can see that she seems to be gesturing wildly with her hands in order to give her idiotic words more strength.

"Tch. I'm absolutely sure he's a man, Hanji! But I would still rather see (y/n) in his room than with you. You'd probably talk her ears off, you know what you're like when you start speaking about titans. You would disturb her four-eyes," Levi notes now.

And what are titans, please?, I ask myself. "So you're also in favor of (y/n) staying with me, right Levi?", Erwin goes on again.

"Are you sure you want her in your room? After all, it's right next to your office. Accordingly, she could very easily get all the information from the Survey Corps", Levi replies regardless of the fact that I'm still in the room and he just indirectly called me a spy. But that doesn't really matter to me...just like this discussion about the room choice. It all takes far too long, if it goes on like this, they'll be still arguing tomorrow morning.

I sit up carefully and clear my throat briefly to draw attention to myself. After all three participants have a look at me, I start to speak in a calm tone: "I understand that I can't be alone in a room, you didn't even leave me alone when I slept", with narrowed eyes I look at Levi slightly annoyed, then I continue, "That I can't sleep with the cadets I also understand to a certain extent, at least that what I just heard from Levi doesn't necessarily sound like a place to sleep."

"Who allowed you to call me by my first name?" Levi throws in between, but falls silent after a short change of glances with Erwin. 

"Ah, I'm sorry," I apologize, but I won't let myself be further irritated, "Hanji may be a woman, but she seems to be something well, let's say-" 

"Crazy. Completely nuts.", Levi concludes my sentence quite aptly. But I wanted to formulate it a little more nicely.

"..No, rather bubbling over with energy", I justify myself. "It's the same thing," says Levi grumpily. Hanji seems to be unimpressed by his words, as if it were normal for her to be called that by him. Erwin next to me sighs quietly, as if this conversation was all too familiar to him and doesn't go into it any further.

"Be that as it may, I don't think Hanji is a good room partner for me...at least not at night when I want to sleep. I wouldn't like to sleep in Levis' room because we don't get along very well," I explain in a firm but calm voice.

"You couldn't have slept in my room anyway. You would only make everything dirty and disturb me at work. I wanted to suggest that we provide you with a comfortable cell in the basement," Levi monotonously replies, as if it were the most normal thing in the world to lock up strangers in the basement. I may have forgotten everything, but my instinct tells me it's not normal!

"I wouldn't have let that happen, Levi. She is injured and would most likely fall ill in the cellar at the temperatures there," Erwin rightly tells the dark-haired man. Hanji just stands next to the bed and seems to be a little downhearted because I refused her offer to sleep in her room.

"So there's only one option left if you want to stay here," Erwin concludes with a smile on his face, "my room."

_ I guess I have no other choice. _ "Then I will probably sleep at your place, Erwin," I agree more or less voluntarily.

Levi leaves the room, shaking his head slightly, followed by a joyful appearing Hanji. Erwin rises from the bed and stretches out one of his big hands towards me. Carefully I take his hand, which immediately squeezes my hand a little harder, but not so that it hurts. He bends forward and wraps his free hand around my hip. With his help I manage to get out of bed. I know he's just holding me so I don't fall, but it feels weird. He is so close and touches me. I notice how my cheeks blush slightly and try to turn away discreetly with my face. 

But my plan fails because he notices my red cheeks before I can turn around. "Is everything all right? You are all red, do you have a fever?" Erwin asks worriedly and reaches out his hand, which has just held mine, to my face. His cool hand touches my cheeks, warm with shame, and then wanders gently up to my forehead.

Within a second, I suddenly find myself in Erwin's arms. Our faces are so close I can feel his warm breath.  _ If only I hadn't turned away, this position is even more embarrassing!  _

"Erwin you don't have to...", I begin, but the look of him reveals that he won't let himself be convinced otherwise". I sigh and let it go over me. I lean my still warm face against his chest to be able to hide it at least a little bit.


	5. Chapter 5

The walk to Erwins and now probably also, hopefully only temporarily, my room seems to take an eternity. I don't know if it's because the room is on the second floor and we have a longer way, especially since Erwin insists on carrying me, which limits his speed. Or that all the cadets we pass, and there are many of them, stare at us and whisper. In any case, the fact that Erwin is stubbornly staring straight ahead and remains silent doesn't make the situation much better.

The corridors of the headquarters are long and unadorned. Every now and then a torch holder with an extinguished torch hangs on a wall to light up the dark evening hours. The windows, which are worked into the stone wall, are simple and small. Many doors go off from the right side and altogether I could see three more corridors going off from ours. The whole headquarters seems cold and quiet, although people are wandering through the corridors. It reminds me of a labyrinth, which is probably also for people who don't live here.

The stairs to the second floor look old and as if they would collapse at any moment. With every step Erwin takes, the wooden steps creak under our weight. Surprisingly, however, we arrive undamaged at the top without the stairs below breaking away.

Relieved, I look around the new floor. At first glance there seem to be fewer doors. Here, too, torch holders hang from the walls as the only source of light. While the lower corridor, despite its quiet atmosphere, was filled with cadets, the upper corridor is empty. I look up at the walls, not knowing what I am looking for.

No cobwebs and no dust or ash seem to exist here at all. I hadn't noticed it before, but the whole corridors are very clean despite the many people coming from outside with their dirty boots. That's even understated, it seems like the cleanest place in the world.

Abruptly Erwin stops in front of a large dark door, which lies relatively far back in the corridor. I suspect that this must be our room, I look up to get a confirmation from Erwin. He nods at me shortly with a smile and then sets me down carefully. He puts one hand around my hip to stabilize my stand, with the other hand he rummages in his pocket for something, most likely the key to the room.

Erwin pulls his hand out of his pocket again, holding a small copper-coloured key in his hand. He opens the door and leads me in. Directly opposite the door at the other end of the room is a large desk on which documents and letters are stacked. The armchair behind the desk seems to be made of a kind of brown fabric. Along the walls there are countless shelves with old books. There is also another door leading off the inside of the room, probably the bedroom. The most impressive, however, is the huge window behind the desk, which occupies almost half of the wall. The windowsill seems to be wide enough to sit on, the perfect place to read or just to stare dreamily into the sky.

I hear the click of a closing door as I turn around, Erwin is standing behind me again. I hadn't even noticed that he had let me go.

"(y/n)?"Erwin asks gently smiling and standing next to me. He looks at me waiting as if he was expecting a reaction or something from me. My eyes quickly twitch through the room to memorize the details again and hopefully produce a satisfying reaction for Erwin.

"Um...you have many books..." I answer in an uncertain voice while playing with a strand of my (h/c) hair.  _ Wow, (y/n) you couldn't think of anything better?! You could have just said that the room looked beautiful or something...but no! _

Erwin wrinkles his forehead and looks at me confused, but then starts to laugh. It is a warm and honest laugh that fills the whole room. However, I am confused now, why is he laughing at that? My comment was not that funny. After a short while Erwin stops laughing again and looks at me with a broad grin.

"That doesn't answer my question, but it's okay," Erwin explains, "I've collected all the books over the years, some gifts and some I've bought myself for research purposes. Do you like books?"

He asked me something before? Embarrassed that I didn't notice that he had asked something, I looked aside and at least answered his new question :" I don't know. Maybe. They take so much time."

Disappointed, Erwin looks at me and sighs slightly: "I see. Time is luxury. So to get back to my actual question (y/n), should I show you the bedroom now?" His friendly smile has returned to his lips as if it had never been gone, but again that day I see through it. A fake smile, just there to let others believe you would be really happy. Strangely enough, it seems all too familiar to me.

"Yes, please", I also reply with a put-on smile, which seems completely natural, as if I had smiled this already infinite number of times.

Erwin walks towards the door that I had already noticed before and tells me to follow him. Slowly I follow him and let my gaze wander over him. From his muscular back up to his broad shoulders to the back of his head, which is covered by his blond hair. His hair looks incredibly soft. I'd love to touch them, but that would come off wrong.

When he arrives he looks at me one last time. I mean to see nervousness in his eyes flashing for a moment. His mouth opens and closes again, as if he wants to say something, but doesn't find the right words and therefore decides not to say anything.

"Well then..." Erwin starts and opens the door to the bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

The door to the room is open and I can catch a first glimpse inside. Erwin enters the room and picks up some old shirts from the floor and puts them in a drawer. Slightly smiling at his attempt to look neat, I follow him into the room. The room doesn't contain much, a closet, a small dresser and a bed.

My eyes widen at the moment I become aware of something important. What Hanji had tried to prevent. Sharing a room was one thing, but I hadn't thought it would mean sharing a bed.

On one wall of the room there is a rather large double bed with a simple brown garnish. Unfortunately this is the only bed in this room. Anxious, I look over at Erwin, who skilfully avoids my gaze.

"Erwin?", I stammer out. 

"Yes?," Erwin replies at least as nervously as I.

"The...bed..." I only say, knowing that he will understand it naturally.

"I don't have to sleep in bed, I just sleep in my office next door in my armchair," he replies quickly and then adds quietly mumbling: "I don't sleep much anyway, thanks to the paperwork."

Relieved, I sigh that he won't sleep with me in bed. Otherwise it would have become extremely awkward. 

Nobody says anything. The silence spreads and feels as if it is suffocating us every moment. Uncertain I look up. Erwin stares at me and seems to be spiritually somewhere else.

"So...", I try to draw attention to myself. Erwin does not react. He just keeps staring. It's strange to be looked at like that by him.

After my first attempt to get him out of his thoughts didn't work out, I started for the second one.

Slowly I move my hand to his shoulder. Trembling, I put it down there and shake Erwin slightly.

Erwin shrinks back with his eyes wide open and withdraws from my hand.

"I'm sorry. You were in thoughts and--" I apologize, but Erwin interrupts me.

"No, it was my fault. Sorry." He smiles at me crookedly and I can't help but smile back.

"Hanji will show you around a little later in the headquarters, until then you can still rest. As I said, you can use the bed. And if something is wrong, then ask me", he explains in a gentle voice. 

I nod as a sign that I have understood and walk towards the bed in the middle of the room. I sit on the edge and have to admit that it is more comfortable than it seems at first glance. 

I look over to the door and still see Erwin quietly closing the door with a smile on his lips. I am alone in the room now.

I carefully slide further back onto the bed and lean against the headboard. My top slips up slightly and the bright colours of my bruises come to light. Somewhat worried I stroke over my side. _ Where did I get these bruises from? _

Sudden tiredness comes over me and I give in to the feeling. I still notice how I subconsciously slide down into a lying position. Then my eyes close and everything is black.

Dream:

_ I wander disoriented through a completely black room. No noise can be heard, not even my own steps are audible. After a while of roaming around, I think I can see reflections of light a little further straight ahead. _

_ Curiously I approach it. The closer I get the more tense I get. Something is odd, but I don't know what. _

_ Arriving at the unusual light reflections I look around. There is nothing here that could cause this phenomenon, so why is there light in the depths of darkness? _

_ Carefully I stretch out one of my trembling hands. The rays of light begin to shine brighter, so that it almost hurts. _

_ When my hand touches the light, it disappears. It is simply no longer visible, but I can still sense it. Slowly I pull my hand back. It is still there and unhurt. What was that? _

_ After a short moment of consideration, I summarize all my courage and step into the light with my whole body. My eyes close automatically so as not to be blinded. _

_ After a few seconds I open my eyes again and see a scene that seems familiar to me. A long road with cars on it. On the sides you can see many shops and skyscrapers. People run fast steps on the footpath and run into each other in between. _

_ My eyes wander around in search of something. Only what I'm looking for I don't know. _

_ A small cafe lies on the opposite side of the street. It looks as if it just opened. Several people go in and out. I watch the hustle and bustle. _

_ After a few minutes a young woman with an apron around her hip steps out of the shop. She seems to be working there. The woman looks around worried, but goes back inside when a new customer appears. This woman looks so familiar to me... _

_ Headaches suddenly come over me. I tear my head down out of reflex and rub my temples with my hands. When the pain stops, I slowly straighten up again. _

_ My eyes are widening with fear. In the reflection of a window pane I see myself standing on the side of the road, behind me... a second I. _

_ I turn around and look at my doppelganger. We look completely the same. _

_ "Who are you?" I ask, she does not react. She must have heard me, I'm standing right next to her! _

_ I raise my hand to shake her slightly on the shoulder, but my hand simply glides through it. As if it did not exist at all. _

_ Perplexed I stare at my hand and at her alternately. Somewhat speechless I observe the procedure of my doppelganger. She runs off across the street, but apparently she doesn't notice that a car is heading straight for her. It will inevitably hit her. _

_ Again, headaches come over me. When I open my eyes I am in the middle of a large crowd, all trying to squeeze their way forward. Without thinking about it I push myself past the others, which goes surprisingly well because I can just walk through them all. _

_ Arriving in front I see the reason for the onlookers. _

_ The body of my doppelganger lies on the ground, unnaturally twisted by the impact with the car. No one is trying to save her. It is clear that she is no longer among the living. _

_ I hear a soft laugh and look around angrily. How can one laugh in such a situation! As I look around I get dizzy and suddenly everything turns black. _

_ "Haha..Do you remember now, (y/n)?" _

End of the dream

"(y/n)-"

"(y/n)!" calls a worried voice. I feel warm hands on my shoulders and slowly open my eyes.

" Are you in pain?" the same voice asks me again. I turn my head to the source of the voice and see Erwin sitting next to me on the bed with a worried expression on his face. Slowly I shake my head. 

"No... I have no pain", I answer quietly.

"But you screamed in your sleep...did you have a bad dream?", he asks tentatively.

Again I shake my head.

"No, it was not a dream."

Erwin looks at me slightly confused, as if he had run out of options. Why else would you scream in your sleep, for joy? Hardly.

"I remember."


	7. Chapter 7

"I remember."

My eyes start to burn and I can feel warm tears rolling down my face. Of all the tears, my eyes are blurred. I am pulled forward and feel Erwin's strong arms wrapping around my body. I lean against his chest and embrace him back. Tears still fall inexorably and wet Erwin's shirt.

"Shh~ Calm down. Nothing can happen to you here, I promise you that," Erwin says to me in his deep voice. His voice and the even heartbeat of him really calm me down.

I straighten up a little so that I can look at Erwin. His blue eyes shimmer with concern.

"Do you want to talk about it", he asks while one of his hands gently strokes my back. The places where he touches me are tingling, but it feels nice.

I nod to him and lower my eyes a little before I start talking: "I can remember what happened...I was on my way to work and because I was late I just walked across the street..and there I was, caught by a car. I saw myself lying on the floor...I was dead Erwin!"

When I look up again, I see clear confusion in Erwin's face. "Work? Street? Outside behind the wall? And what exactly is a car supposed to be?", Erwin asks with contracted eyebrows.

Surprised, I look at him. "Well, you know, a means of transport with four wheels and an engine powered by gasoline... and what kind of wall are you talking about?"

"I don't know what you're talking about! There are only carriages here that are pulled by horses. And you couldn't have missed the walls all your life" Erwin still replies puzzled.

With one hand he reaches for my head and strokes away my (h/c) hair. "Maybe you got hit in the head, or why are you telling such weird stuff?"

"Are you saying that I'm lying? If someone is lying here, it's you!", I say a little angry about his remark. I withdraw from his embrace and slide away from him.

I immediately miss the feeling of his arms around me and the body heat he radiates. But I have to stay strong, he lies to me here and I can't just forgive him and pretend nothing is wrong.

"Hey, (y/n)... Look at me, please. I'm not lying and what you just told me doesn't make sense to me, but maybe I understand what you mean when we talk about it. So please don't turn away from me", Erwin pleads with me. He sounds kind of sad, but about what? Maybe because I turned away or because I called him a liar? Why should he take that to heart? We haven't known each other for long, he doesn't really care what I think of him and I shouldn't care what he thinks of me...But if he looks at me with his blue eyes so worriedly and takes care of me, or just smiles, then that makes me happy, because then I know that he at least cares a bit about me.

I can no longer avoid his gaze. I certainly wanted to talk there was just a misunderstanding and I overreacted a little.

Slowly I turn back to Erwin and raise my eyes. His blue eyes meet mine (e/c) ones and for a moment we just sit there and lose ourselves in each other's eyes.

"Uhm", embarrassed I break off eye contact," so tell me about this wall I'm supposed to know."

A short smile scurries over Erwin's lips and then he begins to explain in a composed voice: "Now all in all there are three walls: Wall Maria, Rose and Sina. Each wall is about 50 meters high and several meters wide. The wall of Maria is the first and also the longest defensive wall of mankind. Like the other walls, Maria is equipped with weapons to react in the event of an attack".

"Wait, what kind of attacks, what are you talking about? Why do you need such high walls", I interrupt Erwin wondering about his explanation so far.

"Apparently you really can't remember anything at all...", Erwin sighs sadly and looks at me pitifully for a moment, but then continues with his speech: "Protection from the titans. I'll explain them later! So where was I? Oh yes. Wall Rose is the second and thus middle defensive possibility of humans. Wall Sina is the last wall and encloses the innermost part of human territory. Within the wall Sina reigns the king and the military police who serve under it. In addition, the richest part of the population lives in wall Sina and the wall cult is widespread there. Now to the titans, they are man-eating monsters."

Horrified, I stare at Erwin.  _ And I'm supposed to believe that now? That sounds more like a fairy tale than a true fact. _ "This means that the walls protect the people who live within the walls from these man-eating titans, but what about those who live outside", I ask.

"There are no people living outside, the only ones who go behind the walls are the Scouting Corps" Erwin replies patiently.

"Really nobody? But these walls cannot extend so far as to accommodate all people. And how did these walls come into being at all? During the construction work the titans must have attacked constantly. And why are you the only ones going out? And why should you do that voluntarily if you risk your life? And what is this Scouting Corp anyway? I just don't understand it", I ask almost desperately.

A soft laugh sounds from Erwin's throat. "So many questions and so few answers. Now the Scouting Corp belongs to the military and is one of the three units you can join after completing military training. Beside the Scouting Corps there is also the Military Police and the Garrison. The task of the Garrison is to guard, strengthen and maintain the walls. Since they have a lot of contact with civilians, they also have many different tasks. They are the first defenders against the titans when the gate is destroyed or the walls are torn down. The Military Police belongs to the military elite of the people, because only the 10 best soldiers of a training unit are allowed to work in this association. They have the possibility to move into the inner districts. They provide for order and security within the walls and are directly subordinated to the king. The military police is active both in the civilian and in the military area. We as the Scouting Corps operate primarily outside the walls. Our association explores the area outside the walls. In this way we gain information about the titans. Therefore we risk our lives voluntarily, we want to find out more about our enemies, the titans. However, I can't tell you anything about the origin of the walls and your other questions, because that's an unsolved mystery to mankind itself."

_ So much information, but nothing seems familiar. It's like this is a completely different world, but it can't be. Or? _


	8. Chapter 8

My gaze is fixed on my hands while I try to process the information I have just received. Erwin said it all so confidently. Either he is a damn good liar or what he said is really true, but before I can fully believe him I need proof. 

No matter how long I think nothing of what Erwin told me is in line with the world I remember about. But I know that the dream I had really happened. I can't explain why, it's just like that.

"(y/n)? Is everything all right?" Erwin pulls my voice out of my thoughts. When I look up at him a little smile flits over his lips and I smile as if by reflex.

"Yes. I just don't know what to think about it. The world in my memories is just completely different and it seems so well known. Completely in contrast to the world description of you. I don't want to say that you-", Erwin interrupts me before I can finish speaking: "I know. It's all right. But I can prove it to you."

A proof that's all I need. "Then prove it to me...please", I answer almost too enthusiastically and smile at the blonde guy in front of me.

"I will. Tomorrow. Ah, just one question, can you ride a horse? I mean, since there are apparently no horse carriages in your world, but something with ... was it a motor? Well no matter what, you already know what I mean", Erwin talks with nervousness.

I can't hold back a laugh. It's just way too sweet; Erwin, an adult and serious looking man, sits in front of me, talks nervously and blushes.

"I already understood. And I don't think I can ride a horse", I reply with a soft laugh.

Erwin does not answer. I look up and see that he is staring at me with all seriousness. "Did you just laugh at me?"

Surprised, my eyes widened. His voice almost sounded threatening. Nervously I look away from him and look for a satisfactory apology. I notice how the bed beneath me lowers further. Slowly I follow the contours of Erwin upwards to his face, which is now only a few centimetres from my own face. 

Again he is so close. I feel the blush spreading to my cheeks and my heartbeat accelerating. A grin spreads on Erwin's lips and pulls me into a spell. His lips look so soft. It may be wrong, but I want to touch them. I want to touch him.

But before anything else can happen there is a loud knocking at the door. However, this person does not wait for an answer but storms directly into the room.

"Nothing happens if she is in your room.  _ There's only one option, my room _ ", an angry Hanji imitates Erwin's words from earlier.

Embarrassed to be caught in such a situation, I quickly got up from the bed. I avoid any eye contact. 

"Is that how you talk to your superior? And how many times should I tell you that knocking alone is not enough? You also have to wait for the answer", Erwin replies coldly.

"Oh, come on, it wasn't meant that way. What are you in such a cheeky mood for?", Hanji happily replies and doesn't seem at all impressed by Erwin's cold answer. A short shiver runs down my spine. What are these sudden personality changes for? All the time he seemed so nice and empathetic and from now on he is like a different person.

For a while there was just silence. Nobody dares to say anything. I summarize my courage and look at Erwin. His features seem softer than before, as if he would regret his words. Although he pressed me earlier, I simply cannot be angry with him. It's strange, but I feel bad for having even thought of condemning him for his actions and words.

"So...what did you want, Hanji?" I ask to break the silence.

"I came to pick you up (y/n). Erwin has work to do and somebody has to show you the area. After all, you can't always rely on Erwin to take you to your room", Hanji cheerfully replies with a mischievous smile.

I nod sympathetically and look over at Erwin. He's still sitting on the bed, but by now he's straightened up, presumably to look at least a little more appropriate. 

"Thanks", whispers Erwin, "you should leave now or you won't be ready by dinner."

He said thank you? Somewhat surprised, I look at him. Why does his behaviour change so quickly? I just don't understand it...

"Yes we are already on our way", Hanji hums with happiness and looks at me expectantly.

"Yes...", I answer hesitantly, "see you later." I quickly wave goodbye and then follow Hanji. 

As soon as we are on the floor, the brown-haired girl turns to me. A huge grin lies on her lips. "So it only took a few hours and there's something going on between you two?"


	9. Chapter 9

"What?" I ask and turn a little away from Hanji. How can she simply ask such a thing? Does she have no sense of privacy at all? Wait a minute when I think about it again, probably not after all she just burst into the room without waiting for a 'come in' or something like that.

"Now don't act so innocent! If I hadn't just walked into the room, there would certainly have been more than just sitting on the bed together and talking", Hanji says to me in a very fast voice.

"Hanji I think you just misinterpreted that. I had a nightmare, well it wasn't really a dream, actually a memory and Erwin wanted to make sure that I was okay...And one thing led to another and -" I try to explain my situation, but Hanji interrupts me with an extremely disturbing grin.

"And?" She urges me to keep talking.

"And we had a fight, I think," I replied uncertain.

"You think you fought? First, why only believe that, either you did or you didn't fight. And secondly, what you were doing clearly didn't look like fighting. Holy titan! Erwin almost sat on you and how you looked at each other! As if you're about to jump one another..And you want to tell me there's nothing between you", Hanji continues.

Hanji's probably right. I mean I was really close to kissing him, but I don't want to admit it. It's wrong we've only known each other a few hours. Hanji still looks at me awaiting an answer.

"We argued because we didn't believe each other and Erwin got closer during the time. Maybe I had also short, but only short the thought that Erwin...how shall I say, is really hot? Damn what am I talking about", embarrassed I bury my face in my hands to escape Hanji's judgmental glances.

"Really hot, huh?" Hanji repeats my words and I can literally hear the smug 'I knew it' grin.

"Please don't look at me like that. I know it's strange because we haven't known each other for long, but it was out of affect and it doesn't mean anything", I whisper.

"But Erwin will be devastated when you come back later and find out that you don't want to make out with him", Hanji continues to tease, "or do you now want to?"

I say nothing. On the one hand I know it is wrong, but on the other hand I long for him. I don't understand it myself. Warm hands lay around mine and free my face. My cheeks are glowing with shame. Hanji says nothing, she just smiles. With a small gesture of her hand she urges me to follow her and already starts to walk away.

I quickly remove some of my (h/c) hair strands from my face and then follow her. I have to hurry quite a bit to keep up with her. I'm afraid I won't be able to keep this pace much longer, but Hanji doesn't react to my heavy breathing. Just when I am about to ask her to slow down, she stops abruptly. Meanwhile we have arrived on the ground floor. A couple of people walk past us and only a few meters away from us there is a group of younger cadets who look at us strangely.

One of the boys grins while he checks me out. It is extremely uncomfortable to me, but I say nothing. 

"Hey who's the new girl? She looks really hot", asks the boy with light brown hair. It doesn't seem to bother him at all that I can hear every word he says. Someone else who has no shame at all. Are there any normal people at all in the Survey Corp?

Since none of his friends seems to have an answer to his question, he now walks right towards me and Hanji. Shortly before us he stops and salutes.

"Troop leader Hanji I didn't even know that someone with a position like yours would do things like showing around new cadets. Shouldn't I do this job for you?" he asks exaggeratedly politely. 

"Forget it Kirschtein! She already has an admirer", Hanji replies seriously. 

"H-Hanji don't say something like that", I throw in between before she can say anything else.

"Oh yes and who? He certainly doesn't look as good as I do. Don't you want to think about it again" he continues and obviously directs his last question specifically to me.

"What are you thinking? Nobody wants you as arrogant as you are anyway! And he looks much better than you", I yell angrily at the boy in front of me. Shortly after I have said it I realize what I have just given of myself. 

The boy has left again, his friends laugh at him and Hanji next to me grins at me knowingly. She heard it. How could she have overheard it, I was quite loud after all.

"That was Jean, by the way. He flirts with everything and everyone, better stay away from him", Hanji explains to me and opens the door in front of which she came to a stop earlier and instructs me to go in. As I walk past her into the room she whispers quietly in my ear: "So there's nothing going on between Erwin and you, huh?"

Without saying a word I quickly enter the room and hope that she just lets the subject rest. But of course she doesn't and so for the next hour I have to discuss with her what really happened between Erwin and me while she casually shows me the headquarters. I tell her about my memory and unlike him she believes me immediately and is totally thrilled. Then I tell her what happened between Erwin and me. In my opinion it wasn't much and nothing worth mentioning, but Hanji sees it differently.

We are just on our way to the dining room and I try to convince her one last time not to say a word about it. But she just grins at me. How am I supposed to survive the meal in one piece?


	10. Chapter 10

Surprisingly, I kept some of the structure of the headquarters, although I concentrated more on talking to Hanji. Nevertheless, I find my way to the dining room without Hanji's instructions.

On the way we meet a lot of other people who also want to be on time for dinner. Meanwhile I get along quite well with Hanji, even though she still teases me with my alleged relationship to Erwin. She is really nice and it is very entertaining to listen to her indulge in titans. I don't understand why she's so excited about the man-eating monsters, but as long as she doesn't keep them as pets, I don't want her fanaticism to bother me.

Thanks to her, I now know a lot about titans and a lot of gossip about this world. She's like a running scandal sheet, she knows everything about everything and passes it on to everyone, even if you don't really want to know. I just hope she doesn't spread rumors about Erwin and me.

Arriving at the hall she pulls me directly back to a certain table. I sit down relieved, glad to finally no longer have to walk. My side pulls something, but it is nothing serious. Hanji sits opposite me and suddenly waves like wild. My gaze wanders over the passage where many cadets cavort and look for places with their friends when I see a familiar face. An annoyed looking Levi tries to push himself forward through the crowd.

"Does it just seem that way, or is Levi really that small?" I quietly ask Hanji, who starts to laugh out loud. Many looks are directed at us and I turn away a little embarrassed. When I turn forward again, I realize that Levi has already reached our table.

"Levi! Guess what (y/n) just called you", Hanji teases with a broad grin. She seems to find it quite difficult not to laugh out loud again. Levi, however, doesn't jump at her conversation attempt and instead sits down at the end furthest away from us. 

"What did she call him?" asks a high voice, slightly irritated, right behind me. I flinch and turn around. Behind me is a girl with strawberry blonde chin-length hair. She looks pretty cute.

"Aah hey Petra! By the way, the one in front of you is (y/n) I told you about this morning, and she called him small", the brown-haired girl replies and snorts loudly, unable to stop her laughter. Petra sits down next to me on the bench and looks at me friendly. "Well, he's not that small...but anyway it's nice to meet you, I'm Petra", she greets me with a smile on her lips. I nod to her friendly before I shrink again because of the feeling of warm breath on my neck. My whole body is tense and I do not dare to turn around.

"Mike! You shouldn't just sneak up from behind, just look how scared she is", shouts Hanji to the man behind me, apparently Mike. Mike leans forward at my side and smiles apologetically at me, then sits down next to Hanji. A little confused, I just look at him. "Don't worry, he's a harmless giant, he just has this weird characteristic of smelling people, unfortunately, but otherwise he's really nice", Petra next to me assures me, who noticed my insecure facial expression.

We all talk for a while and have our fun until a bell rings and signals that the food is ready. Everyone at the table gets up and goes over to the canteen counter, I get up too, but Hanji holds me back:" You stay here, there's always a crowd in front and we don't want anyone to push you away and possibly hurt you any further."

I sit back in my seat and look around a bit. Completely lost in thought, I don't notice someone sitting next to me. Only when this someone touches my arm to get my attention do I notice his presence.

A smile lies on my lips and I look into the eyes of the person sitting next to me. A smile also inevitably spreads across his face. For a while we look at each other in silence, but the silence is by no means unpleasant.

As Erwin is about to speak, someone else interrupts the silence:" Hah! I knew it, you can't fool me!" Erwin quickly pulls his hand away from my arm and directs a devastating look at Hanji, which doesn't interest her at all, though, instead she sits on the seat opposite us and puts a plate of soup down for me. I whisper a quiet 'thank you' and try to escape her piercing glances.

The mood quickly improves as the others return to their seats, too, and a few new faces join us for our merry round, among them Moblit, Nanaba, Eld, Gunther and Oluo. Everyone eats, talks and laughs, it feels like the best dinner I've ever had. Again and again my eyes wander to my right where Erwin sits, from time to time our glances meet, whereupon we both turn away in embarrassment, which none of the others seems to notice. Fortunately, I don't really want to deliver any more gossip material to Hanji.

Before I realize it is already late evening and we are the only table at which it is still bustling . Some of us are a bit drunk and others are just tired, so we more or less unanimously decide to break up our cosy round for today. Even Levi has stayed, which I would not have expected at first. And so it happens that now only Erwin and I sit at the table. Alone and in silence.


	11. Chapter 11

"How are you?" Erwin breaks the silence with a slightly worried tone. Cute...

"Quite well", I answer smilingly, "don't worry!" Erwin's cheeks turn slightly red, as if he were embarrassed that I had heard his concern. He clears his throat briefly and nods to me afterwards.

We sit there for a few minutes, which eventually turn into hours and talk about the day. I tell him about my tour with Hanji and try as little as possible to mention her suspicions about Erwins and my relationship. I don't want to cause an awkward moment. He on the other hand tells me about his work, which he describes as boring but unfortunately obligatory. Mainly he has to read reports and write them himself. "I just wish I had a moment in which I was completely free of duties", he says dreamily.

If I weren't so tired, we would most likely have talked all night long, but my yawning betrays me.

"Tired?", he asks me with his deep, soft voice. I nod and give him a short smile. Erwin straightens up from his place and holds out his hand to me. Without hesitation I reach for it and let him pull me up. Fully straightened I reach him just so up to his shoulder. I look up at him and catch a glimpse of his mischievous grin.

I narrow my eyes exactly as he has already done once today and ask: "Did you just make fun of my size?" But I can't stay serious and start laughing easily by myself. A gentle laugh also escapes his throat.

On the way to the room he still holds my hand, which closes perfectly around mine. What felt so wrong this morning has become something I would never want to miss again. Despite his large and strong hands, his touches are tender and caressing. A contrast that doesn't bother me at all.

Arriving in the room he withdraws from my hand and I immediately feel a little lonely. I watch him open a drawer of the dresser and pull out a white shirt. He turns to me and holds it out to me. I grab it and then push him towards the door. He grumbles a little, but goes out voluntarily. I close the door behind him and shake my head laughing softly.

I change my clothes and look at myself in the mirror. The shirt is way too big for me, which is why it reaches down to the middle of my thigh and fortunately covers everything offensive. The shirt nestles warmly and softly against my skin and has the same wonderful scent as Erwin himself. I smile at myself in the mirror. I can't deny Hanji's suspicion anymore, even if it's strange to develop feelings for someone so quickly.

A knock sounds and I call a shy 'come in'. Erwin enters and freezes in the door frame, his mouth slightly open. His staring makes me warm and I hide behind my hands. I hear footsteps coming at me and just get more nervous.

Warm hands close around mine and carefully pull them away from my face. Erwin stands in front of me and smiles: "Please don't hide (y/n)! You are too beautiful for that..." He whispers the last part into my ear. His warm breath touches my ear and neck and gives me goosebumps.

His hands embrace me in a tight hug and my hands react as if by themselves, laying around his neck trying to keep him as close as possible. I feel him burying his face in my neck and making the moment even more intimate. One of my hands moves up and gently strokes through his soft hair.

An eternity later Erwin loosens the embrace slightly and straightens up so that he can look me in the face. His cheeks reddened, his lips smiling and his eyes shining.

"Isn't it strange, I mean we've only known each other one day and yet it feels right and I don't regret anything...not even that", whispers Erwin and leans down to me after his last sentence and puts his lips on mine. My heart stops for a second before it starts beating twice as fast as usual. My eyes close and I lean fully into the kiss and return it with as much emotion as he does. I feel his lips smile and he deepens the kiss by putting his head slightly to the side to have better access.

After a while I withdrew from his lips, breathing heavily but happy.

"Maybe we were just meant for each other..." I whisper with a smile. He grabs my hand and pulls me to the bed where I cuddle up to him and fall into a deep and long sleep.

Known blackness surrounds me, but I'm not afraid anymore. With my head raised and proud steps I walk towards the light at the other end of the tunnel. A few tears roll down my cheeks as the light surrounds me and I am back on the road. 

The place where it all began and will end.

It may have been short, but it was the most valuable experience of my life. The next time I don't waste my life and I taste it completely because you never know when it will end.


	12. Chapter 12

Erwins pov

Still a little tired, I wake up from the sunbeams that fall through the window into my room and announce the dawn of a new day. I stretch out my arms sleepy and touch something soft next to me. Confused, I look at the object next to me, one of my shirts lies crumpled in bed. How long has it been there? I'm still wearing mine...In general, why didn't I change last night?

I try hard to remember yesterday, but everything seems blurred and incomplete. I sit up and look around in the room. Nothing unusual...

I reach for the shirt which is lying next to me on the bed and smell it hesitantly, if it is old it would not have to smell too fresh anymore. But contrary to what I had expected, I am overcome by a complete feeling of happiness at the smell.

(y/n)

I remember, but where is she? Maybe already downstairs? Why didn't she wake me?

I quickly change my clothes and take a quick step into the dining room. My gaze wanders in vain through the room in search of her, but she cannot be found. Maybe the others know where she is.

I go over to our regulars' table and lean down to the others, who grin at me amusedly. "Well, sober again?" Hanji asks me. Confused, I looked at her, I hadn't drunk that much. It doesn't matter now, I have to find (y/n).

"Have you seen (y/n)?" I ask around and get confused looks from those present. Some shake their heads and whisper with their neighbours. Only Levi has the guts to say it.

"Who is (y/n)? Erwin you were so drunk yesterday that I had to drag you up to your bed. There was nobody else with us...", Levi says in a firm voice, but his gaze is softer than usual, as if he had sympathy for me.

"Maybe we should have stopped you after your 6 glass...or even sooner..." Hanji throws in.

"No...No! You lie...she was real, she loved me...I loved her...", the last word is hardly more than a whisper that nobody but me hears. How they all look at me compassionately, not to endure. I must leave this place. I must find her.

Inspecting every corner of this building, I walk through the corridors, but she' s nowhere to be found. But I do not give up.

I run outside, saddle my horse and swing myself onto the stallion. "Tch, what are you up to?" the voice of the black-haired man, which is only too familiar to me, sounds. I look down at him and answer: "What am I going to do? I will find her!"

And so I rode off, towards the wall and out to the place where we found her for the first time and took her with us.

There is an overwhelming silence and nobody can be seen far and wide. I get off my horse and walk a little further in the direction of the trees. I hear a neigh and turn to the sound. My horse is shuffling away startled by the titan who had appeared behind us.

My hands are rushing out of reflex to my blades.

But there is nothing. I was in a hurry and careless.

I stare at the titan from below, drop to my knees and laugh while tears stream down my face.

The titan squats down to me.

"Will you take me to her?", I ask the titan under tears.

I don't expect an answer. I just close my eyes and prepare for my reunion with (y/n).

Black. Endless, deep and devouring blackness. 

But I am not alone. Someone reaches for my hand. Her smell.

(y/n)!

"I knew you were real! 

A soft laugh sounds.

"(y/n)"?

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"And we'll be together forever and ever and more" - Nothing but Thieves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End~  
> I hope you liked it! Feedback would be great!


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